Better at Relationships with Women Part 1

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I realised tonight while talking with a buddy that I seem to have been luckier in the past year or so than prior with women.  Much luckier.  Much better.  He asked me what that was about and I replied that I'd think about it and get back to him.

It isn't that I've been working out lots at the gym, I haven't, I'm not in good shape for me.  It isn't a new haircut.  My wardrobe has been pretty good this last year, but not markedly different than prior.  No new car.  My home has been in pretty good shape however, a tiny help.

Part of things is slowly accumulating some mass of 'emotional skills', abilities to pick apart specific feelings, actions, reactions.  This has happened basically because enough experiences, including being crushed, have happened to me.

I'm a guy that needs a lot of data to work things out and I certainly got that with a share of crushings, bad chasing, poor calls and an actually crazy woman with Boarderline Personality Disorder.  About 5 or 6 years worth of data is how long it took me to get somewhere towards my self perceived competency.

Most people get this stuff earlier, but being a geek and having a great long early relationship, starting relationships late, being an introvert, learning finer points of social skills later; these meant that I didn't get 5 years of random dating done till about a year ago, roughly.

I've had plenty of support though, here and in other places, that has helped a lot, so thanks :)

I think things needn't take this long if you have a good guide.  I certainly had people to talk to, but to at a level of specificy that worked for me.  In extreme detail when things don't work, breaking that down to some fundamental thing, some fundamental contradiction, that is how I learn.

For general unguided mish mash experience, it took me a lot of data points.

But I have found people really good at relationships, kind of at the wrong end of the process, but these people do exist and so that is good to know and talk about.